I was feeling pretty emotional last week. Gram got sick when I was in Florida and I didn't visit her until last week because we all were taking turns with the stomach flu.
I was feeling a certain kind of way about it since when olds go into the hospital with pneumonia they don't often come out. She seems to be on the mend but I was really jarred by it all. When I talked with mom after the social worker planning meeting she explained that right now, it's unlikely that grandmom will be able to live on her own- so that means either 24 hour care or nursing home. She's not terminal so we're only left with a few choices.
This isn't a shock. She's 93. But it's still hard.
I went to visit her right away. I was coming from work and was going to spend lunch with her so I stopped at the grocery store to get lunch. I picked a lane to check out that looked like it was the least crowded- I wanted to maximize my time with her. But the little man in front was rearranging his basket. Then he was rebagging things. Then he was digging for his money.
I was starting to feel anxious.
He was counting out his money. His bill was $114 and some change. He only had $55. He started digging in his change purse for more. Didn't have enough. The cashier was getting frustrated and was raising her voice- not out of anger but the way people do to people who don't speak the same language.
He got a little mad the way older men do when they're embarrassed- barked at her, what do you want me to do?
She was going to start rescanning things and get him back to $55 and change but then I got choked up. Grandmom would NEVER let me pay for her. Even for Christmas if I get her something, she returns the favor with some kind of check, grocery store gift card, a box of candy- or just plain money.
But this guy- he was a stranger.
I asked the cashier if she knew anything about him- he got there on community transit, she sees him from time to time. He didn't seem like he had much of a clue about what was going on so I told her I was going to pay. I wanted him to have his six packs of store-brand soda pop and BOGO Entenmann's chocolate donuts with a little less grief. I don't have $50 to throw around all the time but I was feeling sad about Gram so I did it in her honor...and then ran to cry in my car.
I told her about it...she offered to pay me back.
Here's a video of her talking about her mother- she lived most of her life trying to please her...
I was feeling a certain kind of way about it since when olds go into the hospital with pneumonia they don't often come out. She seems to be on the mend but I was really jarred by it all. When I talked with mom after the social worker planning meeting she explained that right now, it's unlikely that grandmom will be able to live on her own- so that means either 24 hour care or nursing home. She's not terminal so we're only left with a few choices.
This isn't a shock. She's 93. But it's still hard.
I went to visit her right away. I was coming from work and was going to spend lunch with her so I stopped at the grocery store to get lunch. I picked a lane to check out that looked like it was the least crowded- I wanted to maximize my time with her. But the little man in front was rearranging his basket. Then he was rebagging things. Then he was digging for his money.
I was starting to feel anxious.
He was counting out his money. His bill was $114 and some change. He only had $55. He started digging in his change purse for more. Didn't have enough. The cashier was getting frustrated and was raising her voice- not out of anger but the way people do to people who don't speak the same language.
He got a little mad the way older men do when they're embarrassed- barked at her, what do you want me to do?
She was going to start rescanning things and get him back to $55 and change but then I got choked up. Grandmom would NEVER let me pay for her. Even for Christmas if I get her something, she returns the favor with some kind of check, grocery store gift card, a box of candy- or just plain money.
But this guy- he was a stranger.
I asked the cashier if she knew anything about him- he got there on community transit, she sees him from time to time. He didn't seem like he had much of a clue about what was going on so I told her I was going to pay. I wanted him to have his six packs of store-brand soda pop and BOGO Entenmann's chocolate donuts with a little less grief. I don't have $50 to throw around all the time but I was feeling sad about Gram so I did it in her honor...and then ran to cry in my car.
I told her about it...she offered to pay me back.
Here's a video of her talking about her mother- she lived most of her life trying to please her...
Comments