Cheese and Rice.

I've only cried once today. Well, twice. This is a new thing. I've held it together so far but this past week has been busier. I realized at some point last week that I was blogging more the week Maks was born than I was in the weeks after. It took me a minute to figure out why- Todd was home

PLEASE NOTE- NOT bashing...I've just had a bad day.

Maks (read: Mom) has had some tough days. Maksi BB (Maksi big boy) alternates his days- sometimes he'll stay up all day and only take little cat naps and sleep all night, other days he'll sleep all day so I keep having to hold a mirror under his nose to make sure he can still fog it.

And it's all a catch 22. I was crying earlier because all I wanted at the time was a baby who wasn't shrieking OR a helper who would vacuum a fuggin' rug (or empty the dish washer and reload it or the same with the wash etc- oh yea, good news, when you keep the cats out of a level of your house, most of their hair accumulates somewhere else...like the living room.) Why the catch 22? Because when we're home (rarely) someone has to entertain BB- and see above- many days, BB is up a lot of the day when TBone's at work. So-I hold/soothe/feed him when he's hungry all day- and when the TKurp comes home BB is tossed in his general direction so I can chiiiiill. Another point, TMoney cannot perform the feeding duties unless milk is in the fridge so sometimes I have to stop doing house stuff to feed again. Vicious cycle. When BB is not hungry, Dad is on and thus, this keeps him from said house hold duties. Mind you, I welcome these tasks as a stress reliever- most days I've spent eight+/- hours talking in the third person, cheering on poo dipes (I don't want him to be ashamed of something that's natural and healthy) AND worrying if the background noise (the TV or Pandora) is too loud which might stifle his newborn chatter and compromise his development (I read WAY too many message boards.)

I was text messaging sister yesterday contemplating what to get for TBone for his first Father's Day. I had two ideas. One was a gift for him to treat him to a sweet barber gift cert to a bona fide man-scaping joint. The kind with ESPN playing on plasma TVs and they serve you beers when you get a straight razor shave. I've been cutting his hair myself for the past four years so he deserves it, right? But then I got to thinking...When we're living the predicament listed above (feeding/soothing/house hold duties) there are times when BB needs to be feed and when we need to be fed- TMoney's idea of dinner B.S. (before Sweetie) was a box of French toast sticks or a slice from South Street. So if he prepares a nightly meal for us, it's after excruciating detail from me...so...enter Kitchen Bootcamp- a three hour cooking class. So yea, the gift is for TBird...but it's really for me. 

Discuss. 

Also- add this point to the catch 22 (making it a catch 23?) 

I was a grade A, jerk baby when I was a wee one. I HATED to be held. Hated it. I would throw my head back and push as hard as I could to whoever was holding me. Real nice to my mother who was going through a divorce, eh? Baby of the year, here. I didn't love to be touched as a toddler, or an adolescent and ask anyone who I went to college with- pretty sure I made it through the four years without hugging any of those fools once. I've grown over the years. Although I still hold hugs for the people who I consider near and dear (I mean, you press your ENTIRE body up against another person- I don't take it lightly) and obviously I like to be touched by some- I just had a baby (wink, wink.) But now...guess what soothes my little one? When his mommy touches him. 

He's screaming like a lunatic in Old Navy? He just wants to hold Mommy's finger with his little hand.

Put him down for a nap after being up for eight hours? Starts to squeal...mommy to the rescue (BB's asleep on my chest AS WE SPEAK.)

Karma's got a funny sense of humor, don't she? 

So now... while I'm running around the house like the Tasmanian Devil...doing housework to relieve the stress accumulated from the long day of BB accompaniment and entertaining...he just wants his momma. 

I've been away long from the blogosphere...I have more to say. Please feel free to read this in installments.

I'm inspired by both my sister and Tato. Tato is up to baking cupcakes...Lauren has been preparing treats such as brownies and the like when we come over for dinner. I like to bake...but since I'm loading and unloading the dishwasher these days, baking from scratch and using as many bowls as possible are completely out of the question. Last week I made those just add water cranberry/orange muffins BUT I ADDED MY OWN CHEESE CAKE FILLING- btw- why hasn't anyone made a bigger deal how simple and easy it is to make cheese cake filling? 8oz of cream cheese and 1/4 cup of powdered sugar. Fold together. 

Today, I'm making these or something else on that website. Real excited.

Oh, and yea, Hey, A-holes who drive their Hogs up Llewellyn/Birney Hwy/Aston Mills Rd (it's all the same road, can't get enough of you Aston.) YOU MADE MY BB SCREAM IN TERROR TODAY- a sound I've never heard and don't want to hear too often. I'm purchasing a BB gun (see what I did there?) You've been warned. Watch your tires- I'm aiming for the front.