Unsolicited advice.

You know what I like about Starbucks?

It's the same cup of coffee 99 out of 100 times. And in the countless years I've been a patron, I've had ONE bad cup of coffee at the 'bucks.

ONE.

Also, they're engaging and friendly but only if you're engaging and friendly. If you're not- and I'm often not even though I'm a regular at the joint in Media- they leave me alone unless I engage.

Twice this week, I was hit up with passive, albeit harmless, unsolicited advice. Once at Saxby's at Plymouth Meeting Mall and once at the Dunkin' in Aston.

At 33 weeks and 4 days pregnant with an approximate 45 days until I deliver, I'm CLEARLY pregnant (and still debating if I should subject Dos to pregnancy shots like I did with Fancy Pants.) Twice this week the person at the counter asked me if I was sure about my coffee order.

Let me preface this rant- I get it world; thanks. I'm pregnant and you're trying to save my unborn child from the horrors of caffeine. As far as you know, I probably take my coffee home, drink it, chase it with three Coca-Cola Classics and after that, shovel in a whole tray of chocolates only to top it off with a Red Bull to help me wind down.

But guess what?

I don't.

I have one 16oz caffeinated beverage most days. Otherwise, it's water or milk for this lady. And, if I'm feeling fancy, an occasional (one each week) orange soda OR (not and) root beer. Neither are caffeinated.

And that's it.

Again, I get it. You don't know me. And, you're trying to make sure my crazy, hormone-controlled, forgetful, pregnancy brain didn't let my mouth slip up and say regular when I SURELY meant decaf.

But seriously, after I see you look my pregnant form up and down, and I sweetly and politely reaffirm my original order with a smile and an affirmative nod (and no sass) after you ask, "are you sure that I don't mean decaf?" keep the condescending and judgmental looks to yourself.

This post is brought to you by the Oxford Comma.