Aside from a nine hour power outage, these snow storms have been a welcomed change to my normally busy Spring routine. It's provided time to spend around the house and enjoy each other before we have to really buckle down and finish out the winter.
I've been worrying a lot recently- about just about everything. I worry about having friends (what else is new?) about money (oil company stopped by to drop off $400+ of oil this morning- see ya, monthly paycheck on the 15th!) about my job (and whether or not I'm doing a good enough job at it), that I want to climb out on the roof and brush off some snow so it doesn't collapse but my husband would kill me if I did it...among plenty of other things.
I've been thinking and thinking and thinking about the blog I posted a few days ago- do I take it down? Wait- I can see people stopped by to read but no one (minus Todd) left comments- eeek, did I offend anyone? Blogger's remorse, if you will. I know we all have it- I think I even edited that post about fifteen times (which REALLY reminds me that I forgot to mention this gesture that I REALLY appreciated: Kelly is planning a trip to Vegas in a few months- close to after Fancy's birthday- but she still included me on the invite- probably knowing that I would turn down the invite but what if I could go? She let me decide. Kel- thanks for that. ALSO- my friends are exempt from those jerks who make me feel like a pregnant fifties house wife- the people who I was really referring to are more like associates.)
Digression...I started blogging a few months back after I really enjoyed reading about my friends' lives. I felt that although we didn't talk every day or sometimes for months, we'd be able to keep up with each other's lives or read about fun little nuggets they have to share through the magical interweb.My posts started off as very light- and as I came to feel more comfortable about letting people in to read about actual events and feeling- things are naturally get a little heavier from time to time.
I was an English major in college- but writing was never something that I wanted to focus on because I was too nervous to let people read what I have to say- but now, I kind of want to hear people's reactions and wonder if no comments fit with the "no news is good news" mentality or is it more like, "when you don't have something nice to say..." addage. And anyway- what do people care what I think anyway?
You know what? Well, I don't (know, that is.) But I like writing- I like keeping up on my reports (Dad-ism.) I like reading about the thoughts I had over the summer. And I bet I'll really like looking back on this in a few years to see how much has changed (hopefully not much...except that I'll be independently wealthy and retired by then.)
After 30 years of life, I feel I really have worked through a lot of my insecurities. I was happy to notice a few months back that I wasn't often reminded of other's thoughts- sort of a those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind kind of a deal- but then I was SHOCKED to think, "wait, they must think I'm a real asshole...am I that annoying person?" And you know what? I might be. But I might not be too.
I have to keep reminding myself over and over again that inherently, people mostly think/worry/check themselves- myself especially- so I should try and spend my time thinking about other things- like how I can start making money on teaching yoga and stop giving free classes.
If I could change a one thing about this- it would probably be that more strangers would comment on eachother's blogs. Kind of a, "Hey! I don't know you but this stuck out to me," or "Hey, jackass, did you ever think that no one gives a shit what you think?" I click on the "NEXT BLOG" icon at the top of mine all the time to see what others have to say on the topic and I comment all the time.
Well, I have nothing left to report except that I recently saw RuPaul on Wendy Williams and now I think I'm going to buy her book because I think she's hilarious (and has better hair than me.) Shoot, if she can write a book- I can write a measly blog (oh, and by the way, Jenny McCarthy's Belly Laughs isn't as funny as it's made out to be. And it's poorly written. It's like what Twilight is to Harry Potter minus the riveting storyline. Really. I know about a few people who might be better qualified for the job and furthermore- we live in a world where Michael Lohan exists and is paid to talk on Extra...I say good for him.)
I've been worrying a lot recently- about just about everything. I worry about having friends (what else is new?) about money (oil company stopped by to drop off $400+ of oil this morning- see ya, monthly paycheck on the 15th!) about my job (and whether or not I'm doing a good enough job at it), that I want to climb out on the roof and brush off some snow so it doesn't collapse but my husband would kill me if I did it...among plenty of other things.
I've been thinking and thinking and thinking about the blog I posted a few days ago- do I take it down? Wait- I can see people stopped by to read but no one (minus Todd) left comments- eeek, did I offend anyone? Blogger's remorse, if you will. I know we all have it- I think I even edited that post about fifteen times (which REALLY reminds me that I forgot to mention this gesture that I REALLY appreciated: Kelly is planning a trip to Vegas in a few months- close to after Fancy's birthday- but she still included me on the invite- probably knowing that I would turn down the invite but what if I could go? She let me decide. Kel- thanks for that. ALSO- my friends are exempt from those jerks who make me feel like a pregnant fifties house wife- the people who I was really referring to are more like associates.)
Digression...I started blogging a few months back after I really enjoyed reading about my friends' lives. I felt that although we didn't talk every day or sometimes for months, we'd be able to keep up with each other's lives or read about fun little nuggets they have to share through the magical interweb.My posts started off as very light- and as I came to feel more comfortable about letting people in to read about actual events and feeling- things are naturally get a little heavier from time to time.
I was an English major in college- but writing was never something that I wanted to focus on because I was too nervous to let people read what I have to say- but now, I kind of want to hear people's reactions and wonder if no comments fit with the "no news is good news" mentality or is it more like, "when you don't have something nice to say..." addage. And anyway- what do people care what I think anyway?
You know what? Well, I don't (know, that is.) But I like writing- I like keeping up on my reports (Dad-ism.) I like reading about the thoughts I had over the summer. And I bet I'll really like looking back on this in a few years to see how much has changed (hopefully not much...except that I'll be independently wealthy and retired by then.)
After 30 years of life, I feel I really have worked through a lot of my insecurities. I was happy to notice a few months back that I wasn't often reminded of other's thoughts- sort of a those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind kind of a deal- but then I was SHOCKED to think, "wait, they must think I'm a real asshole...am I that annoying person?" And you know what? I might be. But I might not be too.
I have to keep reminding myself over and over again that inherently, people mostly think/worry/check themselves- myself especially- so I should try and spend my time thinking about other things- like how I can start making money on teaching yoga and stop giving free classes.
If I could change a one thing about this- it would probably be that more strangers would comment on eachother's blogs. Kind of a, "Hey! I don't know you but this stuck out to me," or "Hey, jackass, did you ever think that no one gives a shit what you think?" I click on the "NEXT BLOG" icon at the top of mine all the time to see what others have to say on the topic and I comment all the time.
Cookie, my diligent editor.
Comments
Ugh, Jenny McCarthy. I liked Belly Laughs (craptastic writing aside - who EDITS this shit?), and then I bought Baby Laughs, and then - don't judge - I bought Life Laughs. Life Laughs is UNREADABLE. Beware. (Though I still really like her, even though she is a crap writer.)