Yoga Paper #2.

Definition of the Yamas

Yoga paper #2- it's lengthy so God bless if you want to read it all!

I’ve match up each of the Yamas with a quote from St. Francis of Assisi for when I teach my yoga intramural at Neumann University- a Franciscan Institution.
Definition of Ahimsa - Non-violence 
“Lord, grant that I might not so much seek to be loved as to love.” –St. Francis of Assisi
“Embracing reverence and love for all (Ahimsa), we experience oneness.” This also reminds me of the quote, from St. Catherine Laboure, “One must see God in everyone.”

When we practice Ahimsa, we ensure that no harm is done to any living creature in any action. The obvious theme with Ahimsa is physically hurting someone or thing, but I’d like to focus on a secondary theme of the way our actions and words can hurt others. This is practiced on the mat when we listen to and honor our bodies. We need to recognize what is our perfect pose in that moment. Letting go of competition, judgment and expectations will allow us to find more space in the poses and help open up our bodies. This includes our self talk.

 In my line of work, words can make or break a situation. Vulnerable girls look to me for advice, inspiration and encouragement. If I say the wrong thing, use the wrong tone at the wrong place or time, I can single handedly ruin a game or practice. With this knowledge, I still have to get a job done. It would be really easy for me to tell my players that the way I talk to them is just the way it is and they need to toughen up, however, I know that if I want them to trust me, respect me, and develop the swagger and high self (and team) esteem to have them achieve maximum results, I can’t just say whatever comes to mind…but I also can’t spend all season long leading them there- finding balance is key.

A quote from my boss comes to mind when I talk to my players, “scream praise and whisper criticism.” During games, I remind them countless times each season that I have 60 minutes to try and work toward a positive outcome. Sometimes in the heat of the moment, I might not talk to them exactly the way they want and I remind them that we have to leave those things “between the lines.” But I also have an open door policy for them to follow up with me at a later time if they need to talk anything out. 

Another area where I’m struggling is the way I talk to my husband. He is patient, kind, loving and caring and I know that he would do anything for me that I asked. I also know that my idea of “clean” is different than his so there are a few things around the house where we don’t see eye to eye. In this area, I want to practice Ahimsa AND Asteya together and before I bark at him, I come to him in a loving, grateful way because sometimes I’m embarrassed that I talk to strangers nicer than I speak to the man I’m spending my life with.

Example- I was mad that he wasn’t taking out all of the trash on trash nights. He would leave the little trashcans in the bathroom behind- so we were in a Mexican stand-off and they overflowed for weeks. Of course, the only person who suffered in this standoff was me since he didn’t even notice (he didn’t notice the cans to begin with, I have NO IDEA why I thought he’d see them overflowing.) I finally blew up at him and he had NO IDEA what hit him or why I was so mad. After I talked this through with my mom, in her infinite teacher wisdom, she reminded me that if I want someone to do a job a certain way, I should not only model the experience but also praise, praise and praise. I took her advice being careful not to micromanage, try to do it all myself OR sound condescending and I’m pleased to say I’m being less of a jerk.
Definition of Satya -Truthfulness:
“Blessed is the servant who loves his brother as much when he is sick and useless as when he is well and can be of service to him. And blessed is he who loves his brother as well when he is a far off as when he is by his side, and who would say nothing behind his back he might not, in love, say before his face.” - St. Francis of Assisi

Truthfulness from this perspective might be closer defined as honesty without the blunt force that some words can carry. Last year I bought The Secret Power of Yoga: A Woman’s Guide to the Heart and Spirit of the Yoga Sutras and in its explanation of truthfulness a quote from Maya Angelou has become my mantra as a coach, “Most people will not remember what you said or what you did. But they will remember how you made them feel.”

After reading further in The Secret Power of Yoga I was intrigued about what’s meant about living a life full of falsehoods. I remember when I was in my early 20s I was partying pretty hard most nights a week- spending too much money on beer, clothes, and food that wasn’t good for me or I didn’t need. The idea that ‘nothing good happens after midnight’ rings true 100% of the time. Since I wasn’t making good choices I always felt that I had to censor what I was talking about according to who I was talking to. I wouldn’t answer the phone when my mom or dad would call because I wasn’t living a life that I was proud of. Essentially, I wasn’t being truthful to myself.

Not that I’m perfect now- I still spend too much money on things that I don’t need- but living a life that I’m proud of is SO MUCH EASIER in the long haul. There’s no doubt that living within my means and making honest decision can be challenging in the moment but being proud of what I do makes it worth it.

Another area in my life where I have to practice truthfulness is with my team. I have one on one meetings with each of them to evaluate their performance and we talk about ways they can improve. I work in division III in the NCAA so there are no scholarships for our athletes. Telling young women that they’re slow because they’re out of shape or gained too much weight from the all-you-can-eat cafeteria is almost always out the question. This year I’ve been trying to go about these situations with players differently. Instead of giving them goals I’ve been asking them for goals, asking them what is going on in their lives that is keeping them from those goals and then asking them what they can do to go about achieving said goals. This is important because I don’t want their perspective of me to be clouded every time I coach them on the field- the last thing I need is to have them think I’m calling them overweight/too slow/too timid every time I see them.

Definition of Brahmacharya - Moderation:
“Above all the grace and the gifts that Christ gives to his beloved is that of overcoming self.” –St. Francis of Assisi

In terms of Brahmacharya, The Secret Power of Yoga notes that moderation in all areas: finances, food and drink, work, life. Having balance, or not overindulging or making too many sacrifices and this is aided by working through our attachment of our worldly possessions.

I want to do it all- be everywhere, buy everything, eat everything, I want to fly by the seat of my pants, I want to plan everything perfectly, I want to have a polished life, but I want to it to look like it’s thrown together effortlessly… but when I get like this- and I’m scheduling every minute of every day, I’m exhausted. Since I overspend money, time, energy, I’m in debt.
In a class with Kristen a few weeks ago she reminded us to take care of the life in this order:b

1.       Self

2.       Family

3.       Job

4.       Society

We have to take care of ourselves first. If we overspend our time and energy giving of ourselves becomes ego driven "I do this" and "I do that..." "I'm so tired..." etc. and we lose sight of why we’re trying to give of ourselves in the first place.

Over indulging (or over abstaining) in an area holds us back from leading a full life.  I find that if I don't take enough time for myself my relationships and the areas I'm supposed to be up keeping (house, car) take an OBVIOUS backseat- they become dirty cluttered- I get moody and snap at people. From Kristen's talk last week before class she discussed the times when we over-extend ourselves. Our egos rear their ugly heads and rather than being productive, we slip further into our lifestyle debt because we're out of balance.

Putting Brahmacharya into practice is where I have a great challenge. I want to have more balance with work but I'm afraid to ask for the things that I was because of the level of micromanaging that happens at work -of course, the characteristics that annoy us in others are the ones that we don't like about ourselves- no one can do my job like me so why give any responsibilities up?

On a physical level I've have a very difficult time with self control in life's material things. I love to shop for shopping's sake, eat too much because I "deserve" treats and in the past I would exercise to exhaustion instead of taking the minimal effective does.

My goal is to try and stay in balance by auditing my time a few times a week, being honest with myself about my commitments and using my senses to help me accomplish this. I'm developing healthier eating habits to try and eat foods that nourish my body and save the weekends for some desserts in moderation. With shopping I'm working on trying to be more mindful of things I NEED rather than things that I think are funny and cute. Work will prove to be more challenging. I may have the opportunity this coming summer to have my duties changed...but of course, I don't want to give up either sport because of the relationships I've formed with the teams. So I’ll need to make a decision of what’s best for me and my family and then stand firm when it comes time for my boss to ask what I want to do next year.
Definition of Asteya: non-stealing: 

“For it is in giving that we receive.”St. Francis of Assisi

Definitions: We came into the world with nothing- we will leave with nothing. Give freely of yourself, take care of things as though you would pass them on. Take pride in all work. “When we focus on our own inadequacies at work or home… we rob from ourselves the opportunity to shine in all our glory” from: http://www.yogawithamey.com/asteya.html

I can practice Asteya by being more grateful in what I have before me- having gratitude for the food on my table, the clothes in my closets, the time that I have with my family. I get so bogged down with so many choices and opportunities that I already have that I have to be reminded how blessed I am. Rather than complaining that “I don’t have anything to wear,” or “we have nothing to eat,” I want to use the resources that I have in front of me and be creative when I might not have exactly what I want in that moment.

I also want to be more realistic with my time. I have many commitments between family, work and friends. I want to be more cautious and considerate with my time, and therefore others’ time so I’m able to offer my best self when they need me and when I need me so I’m fully present in the moment.
Definition of Aparigraha - non-greed:

"Remember that when you leave this earth, you can take with you nothing that have received--only what you have given." — St. Francis of Assisi
From The Secret Power of Yoga : “We fear not having enough or having the rug pulled from under us or running out...so we horde. If we change our view from running out to an endless bounty we'll see the infinite pleasures that await.”

In reading about Aparigraha the question about possessions was a theme and was noted that if people aren’t careful, they purchase and accumulate so much more than they need and their possessions start owning them. They become a thing that a person has to control.

From instantgoodkarma.org:

What does “taking only what is necessary for you to live” really mean? This means that we must have the basic objects to live a comfortable, safe and healthy life and that the purpose of material things we have in our life is to allow us to live this way. Instead of thinking of possessions as status symbols or something that represents our success, they should be thougth [sic] of as simply tools that allow us to accomplish our goals in life.

Living Aparigraha will take serious discipline for me. For whatever reason, I felt deprived of things (knickknacks, clothes, etc) growing up- so when I hit college and had my own money and credit cards and even still now, I buy way too much crap because it’s cute, I need more clothes, I have nothing to wear or hundreds of other reasons I couldn’t fit into five pages. I guess I have this vision in my head of what I’m supposed to look like, wear, have surrounding me in my house and as a result, I spend too much money on things I don’t need- or make impulse purchase that I regret.

The most profound example I have of this is the house my husband and I bought three years ago- it was “time” to buy a house. After about a month of searching we found one that would “do.” It’s a lovely little house that has two bedrooms, except, it really only has one bedroom. So now, a young family who’s looking to grow has NO space to grow into.

To practice Aparigraha, I want to be more pensive in my decisions to acquire stuff in my life. Since I’m a busy person, keeping my things organized would be SO MUCH EASIER if I had less of it.

I found as I was finishing the last two yamas that they’re all about balance and are all interwoven. Taking care of self will help so we can take care of others.

Pose break down: Month Two.

Downward Facing Dog

How to:

From plank or modified plank, lift the waistband up toward the sky so the body comes into a downward V shape. Fingers and palms are fully engaged in the mat with the fingers spread out like starfish. Heels are reaching toward to mat and can be slightly lifted or engaged in the floor. If there is tenderness in the hamstring, putting a soft bend in the knees will aid in finding more space in the legs. Tilting the pelvis back and reaching the hips to the sky with a slight arch in the lumbar back will help to lengthen and engage the ribcage. Finally, let the head hang loosely between the arms, nodding the head back and forth or up and down to find more space.

Benefits:

Down dog helps stretch the legs and spine and strengthen the arms and diaphragm as well as aiding with circulation since the pose can be both a slight backbend and an inversion.

Cautions/Dangers:

Since this is one of the posed where the shoulders are not stacked over the wrists, downdog might be difficult for those who are taking care of wrist injuries. Also, people with low blood pressure or who experience issues with vertigo should move slowly into and out of the pose since the head is below the heart. If a person has tight hamstrings they should bend the knees to comfort and slowly reach the heels toward the mat, also to comfort. This pose can also challenge the balance so coming into and out of the pose from plank can be a challenge. Coming in and out of the pose from child’s pose or modified plank as well as using a chair as a prop (bending at the waist with the hands resting on a chair, the body at 90⁰) can help a person work up into the full expression of the pose.

Personal Experience:

Downdog was a challenge for me until recently. I carry a great deal of tension in my shoulders and also my shoulders might be a little narrow so my flexibility in the whole cervical and thoracic spine is slightly challenged. Recently I was working on loosening up my next and extending my spine in the pose and I felt a complete release in my upper back. It was magical.

Pose: Cat/Cow

How to:

From tabletop with shoulders stacked over wrists and knees directly under hips, the weight is balanced evenly between all hour limbs. Start moving into Cat by tilting the pelvis and lifting the tail bone to the sky. The torso and thoracic spine dips toward the mat, the shoulders expand and the head lifts to the clouds leading with the chin while lengthening the cervical spine in the neck. Coming into Cow the pelvis and tailbone rounds under the body, the middle spine curves as the belly is scooped out pulling the belly button into the spine. The shoulders are rounded and leading with the chin, the neck is lengthen as the head is tucked between the shoulders.

Benefits:

Rolling between cat and cow with the breath awakens and warms up the full back, spine and pelvis. Cat and cow can help strengthen the wrists over time.

Cautions/Dangers:

Joints should be stacked and arms and legs should be shoulder and hip distance apart to ensure stability and protection of the joints. In both poses the focus comes to elongating the spine without compressing.

Personal Experience:

Cat/cow is a simple pose to do but can be a difficult pose to cue properly for those with challenges in the wrist and tenderness in the spine. Since childbirth I’ve found that cat/cow is very different for me, especially in the lumbar spine.