Friday, November 26, 2010

Man, this is working today.

You know when you're just in the zone- and things are just working?

There today.

Normally at recruiting showcases I'm disorganized, annoyed, flustered, aware that these kids would just settle for a small division iii liberal arts school.

Today though- I feel good. Seeing good kids, I have a nice set up for senior night tomorrow and this might work.

Forgetting diapers didn't even ruin the mood aaaaaaand BB has a cold but he and TBone are self sufficient so I google mapped a drug store so Maks and Daddy could go on a diaper adventure (not unlike the nose plunger adventure earlier this morning.)

And now I'm nursing Snuffalupagus in a car with a view.

Not too shabby.

In case I don't tell you enough boys, Sweetie (Mommy) loves you. Like whoa.

This baby is a turkey!

I have to agree with my bud ShanBot. Thanksgiving is different this year. I have a family.

Sure, I had one before but I didn't ask for that one.

This time, I chose a husband and we decided to have a baby. So we had our first Turkey day plus one.


Getting up at 4:45am to stuff everyone in Madge's car and getting on the the Philadelphia International Airport.

Maks the super baby and his Turkey suit.

Dinner in Phoenix at Mimi's cafe (Um, $55 total- tip included and it was AWESOME.


Maks is stuffy- and since we're in a hotel he's sleeping in between us in a king bed so we heard his every toss and turn. Todd made a 3am run to Walmart on Black Friday for baby Tylenol and a nose suction jawn.

Being away from my at-home family.

I'm out here to work- at least it's outdoors- and it'll be 60degrees.

my little Turkey

@Mimi's Cafe- dude this place is unreal.

Sweet Pea, Turkey and Wild Rice baby food. He LOVED.

Little turkey (and mommy with airport hair and makeup.)  

me and the Turkey in front of the Rocky Mountains.

Shane Hudson Madrak- born to Eddie and Angie 11/24/2010 7 pounds, 12 ounces 19".

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Getting on the Thanksgiving Shane Gravy Train!

Big bro had a baby boy!

Shane Hudson- 11/24, 7lbs 12oz, 19 inches.

Pops went from 1 grand baby to five 5 in 9 months.


Monday, November 22, 2010


@skurp bought some new shades. My dad, a walking WebMD, has been telling us for as long as we've had ears that if you don't buy the right sunglasses, ones that have 100% UVA,B and C blocks, you're basically making it easier for those sun rays to get into your eyes... dilating your pupils and letting those UV rays right in. See, dad, I DO listen to you. Big girl sun glasses. Check.

Maks and mommy going down the plane shoot. Maks is more interested in my boarding pass than he is with his first flight.

Snakes on a plane.

Maks RIIIIIIGHT before he puts the emergency card in his mouth.

Yay, planes.

So, I have a great (with a capital G) story to share with his first girl friend, every girl friend after that and then his wife.

I smelled a turd on the way home. We had the window seat (score! thank you "parents of young children preboarding!!") so I thought I would just change him on my lap. Todd held all of my tools and I got this bugger in and out of his suit and dipe in under two minutes. 

Traveler and Mom of the year.

If there's anything I've learned about being a mom, it's DO NOT TALK ABOUT THE NO HITTER...aka, pat yourself on the back too soon and your kid will shit on you on a plane when you have the window seat with a stranger on the end.

And that's what happened. 

I got cocky. I smelled another poo a few minutes later so, Babe Ruth style pointing to the fences, I tore that dipe off, wiped and then...pfffffffthsssshssss. He farted.

WHEW! Just the thunder, no lighting. 

And then...a rumble in Maksi's belly later...a GUSH of shit came cascading out of my son's 
hind quarters. 

Lucky for me, I was wearing a sarong- but it got covered. So did his cloth book, as did the diaper he was wearing, the diaper we were going to put on him and my shirt. Thank goodness layering is in.

I cleaned that bugger up in about three minutes- quickly and quietly- barking orders to Todd- he held open the Au Bon Pain bag, I rolled up my skirt so the fecal matter wasn't touching anyone, wiped and subsequently threw about twenty wipes in the trash bag,  and stripped myself of any offending clothing. 

A few minutes later the attendants were collecting garbage and we asked for a few garbage bags. They're nosy Bs those attendants..."I can take any trash you have!"

Us: "haaaaahahaha (uncomfortable laugh), no, he just had an accident! Two bags will do just fine!"

Near the end of the flight, Todd was up using the loo and the lady next to Todd leaned over and looked at me...I got nervous...and said, "He was SO GOOD this whole flight! What a good baby."

Me (smug): Lady, you have no idea. 

Otherwise, he was awesome- fell right asleep as soon as we started nursing for both take off and landing. He played with his books and Paula otherwise. 

Maks the super baby.

Baby necessities on a plane:
back up clothes for EVERYONE
trash bags
the aisle seat
layered clothes

Thursday, November 11, 2010

ten minute post.

You know when you feel like you really have your shit together? Feels great, right? And then you go back and seen an error and are all like, "SHIIIIIIIIIIT!" and get embarrassed?

Just happened.

I'm ABUSING technology to help me do my job better. In my line of work, it's not about the Xs and Os...(I'm a coach) it's really about the Bros and Joes...aka, it really doesn't matter what kind of coach I matters who I get in here.

SO...I was given an excel spreadsheet of 1097 kids and their email addresses. The holy grail of recruiting. I threw together a spiffy email with color and pictures- it was really pretty impressive.... and then mail merged that B in about twenty seconds.

As soon as I hit Finish and Merge...I saw that the salutation line was in the second paragraph. Shit. Shit, shit, shit.

If there's one thing that I know about 12th and 11th graders, it's that they CAN be tricked...but they don't like it.

Reminds me of my 7th grade science teacher, Mrs. Hart. She crept up on me at my desk after I turned in and presented my Science Fair project in the school fair, leaned in over my right shoulder (I was at least warned by the cloud of Chantilly that preceded her) and she growled in my ear, "Sarah, that was a beautiful project you completed (it was pretty impressive...I MADE a replica of the human lung and it "smoked" 3 packs of cigs). BUT, you spelled DOES wrong 27 times." I'm nothing if not consistent.  "Maybe you should proofread before you turn things in."

Thanks for the GODDAMN reminder, Mrs. Hart. Evvvvvverybody's a Monday morning quarterback. ;-)

So now...I'm waiting for 1097 emails to be opened.

But you know what, if those kids have a problem about a small oversigt, then I don't want em anyways, ya heard? I have three full time jobs....sheesh.

PS (and in a semi-related note)- fave new song if you're annoyed: F*UCK YOU by Cee-Lo Green. Nice, snappy tune.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Why can't we be friends?

I've had blog ideas in my head all week- I think this means that things are slowing down at work enough for me to think although I don't have enough time to actually execute these ideas.

I was thinking about how virtually "connected" I am to all of my internet buddies via facebooks, blogger, twitter, foursquare, yelp and the like. It's bizarre- I feel a strange connection to the people who I interact with online because I'm reading their thoughts on all of these places. But when I see them in person, sometimes the first few minutes are like an awkward first date.

I was reading facebook updates the other day. My buddy HomeValley, who I haven't actually seen in person since high school twelve years ago lamented the need for babysitting. I wondered if it would be a far-out idea to volunteer. I still fondly remember the time spent in Fat Chuck's and Gert's classes (not that I remember what we talked about) but, she'll think I'm a wack...or will she be relieved and comforted because she "knows" me pretty well? (Don't feel obligated to answer, HV- I've had too much time to think these days...)

The need for high school reunions are becoming fewer and farther between because I know what my classmate are up to- playing Farmville.

I LOVE the internet. I met my husband there (Thanks, Tom from Myspace.) My brother's best man in his wedding was a dude he met online playing WOW. (I'm not into happens! )

I feel like if I ran into the Koos, HV and Shea crowd at a bar we would pick up like we did in our APHS days and giggle for a few. I could run into Amanda BullW and her newly intended at the Starbucks in Upper Darby and congratulate them on their recent engagement- I didn't skip a beat and that weirded her out- don't post pics you don't want people to comment on in real life... like being 39 weeks pregnant in your underpants, ya  heard?

So I don't know people...are we friends or are we just "friends"?



Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Moles and trolls.

This is my ode to a certain someone who LOVES giraffes. 

Maks had two Halloween costumes. Apparently everyone in the free world thought it was a good idea to be Mario and Luigi this year. At least our mustaches are authentic. 

Next, since it was $9 at Babies R Us we were also a dragon.

Yoda, Drag-on and Leia. He's totally my kid...see that picture glare? (also seen below among a sea of Coors Lights.)

The giraffe costume came from Old Navy- it was $9.99 last Thursday and is a 6-12 monther- so guess who's going to wear a GIRAFFFFFE coat all winter?

NEWSFLASH: I'm officially an old lady. 

I was coming out of my house Monday night and saw a small baggie...upon further was a bag of the pot. I called Todd to see what I should do- after a few "ahhh, uhmms, I don't knows...." I saw they stereotypical fat bully kid from every bad movie I've ever seen walking down the street. 

He looked like this 

except meaner, older, fatter and dressed from hoodies from Hot Topic.

So I'm on the phone with Todd in my car with it running about to drive to work to teach yoga. He picks the bag 'o gange up. I tell Todd to hold. 

ME: Um, is that yours?
Kid: (scared to death) IS WHAT MINE?!?!?!?
Me: That bag you picked up
Kid: WHAT?!?! NO!?!?! I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS?!?!
Me: Oh, really? Well, you better leave it there, I just called the cops. 
Kid: I was going to turn it into my dad!?!?!?
Me: Why would you do that? I thought you didn't know what it was.
Kid: I don't! Here!!! I'm going to leave it here!!! See! There! 

Me: dying on the inside

Him: scurrying up the street with his tail between his legs.

He probably wasn't more than 14 or so. So I go to yoga and an hour and a half later come home only to find: a little bag of weeds where it was left. 

And I threw it in the trash.

I don't know if I scared him straight or whatever but I know the marijuana is still sitting in my garbage can. 

Poor dumb idiot. 

There's nothing I hate more than a sloppy pot smoker. Get your drugs in order, kid. And zippers on your pockets.