Friday, May 28, 2010

If there was ever a question...

There's NO doubt where this baby came from.

One of Todd's buddies made a "funny" joke on Facebook about Maks looking like the milk man. There's nothing a woman who just gave birth two days before loves MORE than someone suggesting that her newborn doesn't belong to her husband. Real nice.

Dad's lips and his playoff beard. He doesn't watch hockey...BUT now he's afraid if he shaves Maks won't recognize him. He's cute, right?

Maks's lips. My boys' smoochers rival Mick Jagger's kisser.

So let's talk about yesterday's beer. Talk about mommy guilt! Not only was Todd NOT able to enjoy it with me (he got heartburn IMMEDIATELY- note to self: #1, we're getting old. #2, don't store good beer in the fridge for 8+ months) but when Maks woke up and I gave him his pre-pumped bottle, he spit quite a bit of it up. It wasn't his first bottle but even the slow flow nipple flows more quickly than the boob and my little guy is an all star nurser so he ate 3+ ounces in about ten minutes. 

There's a lot of information out there about nursing. This week I came across this site and found it to be, although lengthy, the most informative site out there. is good, but it isn't as thorough as this one page- Mother2Mother is like a cheat sheet for pumping.

I got to talking with Lauren last night and I told her about the beer and we shared the same sentiments- of course I want to live my life and not become a person who only lived for her children BUT I'm the only person who can nurse my son and I don't want to do anything that compromises this. I did a little more reading about slow flow nipples- I have Dr. Brown and Medela but read that Playtex is a little slower. We'll see about that.

Maks is a little disorganized today so right now he's sleeping on my chest. (I've tried to put him down four times, each time he's woken up...he's also not eaten more than seven minutes, last feeding, with boob in mouth he barfed ALL OVER US BOTH. Projectile breast milk. Neat.) So, I'm sitting on the couch typing and watching Martha and he's getting the best sleep he's had all day. I texted (spell check, get with the 2010s) Lauren about the disorganized baby and her remedy for him: bath and a swaddled time out. Makes me laugh. Time out for a two week old.

Todd has a half day in honor of the holiday weekend and we had plans to get out to BJs so we can start buying dry goods in bulk and I wanted to check out Aldi. I read a review about the grocery store on Yelp after seeing a commercial on TV and in the name of our new life and addition and spending less money...we're taking a trip to Aldi in Collingdale. I like weird and off brand items! Aldi here comes the Kurps! Please see statement above about getting big trip out is a trip to the grocery store. 

Oy vey.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Back in the saddle.

First full beer since Solomon Island.

Fuckin' A.

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My Favorite Mom/Baby Things (New born/postpartum edition)

So just like when you register for a wedding (or at least when I registered for my bridal shower) there isn't really a real mom's go-to guide that answered all of my questions about what I need or don't need for baby. I ended up with some crap I'm not sure I'll use just like my b-shower. So I read all the books (BabyWise, Baby Bargains, What to Expect, etc) and along with the help of my sisters and friends who are moms I thought I put together a pretty good registry. Also, I was bound and determined to be a "good mom" and have my baby only sleep in the crib from day one, only have him wear the best clothes among other things that are escaping my mind right now.

Two weeks in there are a few things I wish I would have known more about. I'm convinced that the lists that people write for the sites and books listed above HAVE to have corporate partnerships. They have to- because some of that garbage is either astronomically expensive or not made for real babies to use. So, here are the things that I LOVE two weeks out.

Let's start with the hospital stay:

At the birthing center, my room had a jacuzzi. Even though most modest behaviors went out the window, for some reason I wanted to have my bathing suit top on (even though I was narked otherwise.) Target has a whole slew of them.

Also, in the event that you need to make a quick exit to the hospital a dress you can slip on quickly does wonders. This also doubles as a nice going home dress. Also Target.

I only read in one place (and I can't find it now) that most water DOES NOT BREAK on it's own- in fact, the number that I saw was only 10% of water breaks on its own. My water was broken for me. BUT, in case you're one of the lucky ones, think about a water proof pad. When Lauren went into labor and stayed at HUP for a few days, she tossed me one of these hospital grade bad boys in the event we have to transport me sans bag of waters to save the seats in the car. If you have more than a 30 second commute- a towel won't work. You can get disposable ones and they double as bed covers when you come home if you're still overflowing a pad for a few days (please consider this, I've changed my sheets from personal and baby leaking more in the past two weeks than I have in three months.)

Tucks medicated pads. Can I get an AMEN!? About ten years ago, I hoped that I would NEVER have to wear another pad again in my life. I hate them. I prefer tampons. Everything about pads is gross to me. So now, when things aren't allowed to go in the place where the baby came out for another four weeks, tampons are a no-no. But you need something to keep it cool around your lady bits. Because your bits sting and are sore...then when healing settles in, it gets itchy. GET TUCKS. Make yourself a nice open-faced Always with Wings and Dry Weave, Preparation H, Tucks open faced sammy in your pants and have a seat.

We all know about the Pack N Play by Graco, right? It's awesome. Will serves as Maks's and future Kurpel babies' beds for naps and summer vaycay for years to come. I was nearly belligerent insisting that Maks would not sleep in a bassinet. I thought I knew something other people didn't He would be able to handle it- my kid's going to sleep right through the night!! Well...guess what? I'm SURE he can sleep right through the night (or up to five hours) without needing me...but I can't. I check on him at least three times a night- more if he's being squeaky. So on the way home from the hospital, we picked up this little number. Folds up just like the regular Pack N Play. And if things continue to go as planned, Maks should be in his crib by month two. But for now, Mama needs to see her baby.

Next topic: Swaddling is hard. But not with these bad boys. Aden and Anais have a line of muslin blankets. They are A#1 when it comes to swaddling. They're HUGE. And they stretch. And swaddling isn't that easy. I received these as a gift and NEVER would've bought them for myself- but consider it. They rule. Similar story goes far a Rene Rofe blanket- I can't find it online but it's AWESOME.

Diapers: if you're breastfeeding and get yourself into the poo/pee counting in the first few days of life, get the Pamper's Sensitive. They have a strip in the front that changes green when it's wet. Otherwise, breastfeeding sites suggest you put six sheets of toilet paper in the front of the diaper to see if they've wet the diaper. Are you effing kidding? No thanks. Gimme the green strip.

Hmm- Boppy is good for letting baby rest/sit in but My Brest Friend is WAY better for breast feeding- the strap is the bomb and saves your back a bit.

Let's see- here's a list of things NOT TO DO. Don't brew beer with Splenda. Even if you do the conversion correctly, it doesn't work. AND CERTAINLY DO NOT let a Splenda beer be your first postpartum beer. If you're a glutton for punishment like me, I have about12 quarts left of the stuff so giddy up.

I think this is all for now.

I feel like a new-born...

Ask and you shall receive!

Sleep symphony in D minor.

This face pictured here is a fake out- he actually really liked the bath- daddy just isn't the best camera operator. 

Duck towel!

Popeye the sailor baby.

Thanks for not showing people my business, mom.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Thank goodness for my friends.

I can't help but feel super self conscious about everything I'm doing with this baby.

He's two weeks old today. Updates: Todd went back to work Monday, I drove for the first time in two weeks, his cord stump fell off yesterday and we're giving him his first bath sometime tonight. Also, I might drink a pint of beer that I brewed my ownself.

I was tooting my horn yesterday saying how good I feel- ladies and gents, this is both and blessing and a curse. My lady parts are almost healed and I'm ready to get out in the world and show my son what Mama's made of...but I have to keep reminding myself...THAT MY SON IS ONLY TWO WEEKS OLD and that I'm being a little nuts. It's frustrating that I feel as good as I do but I'm bound to my house/bed/living room because he's probably going through a growth spurt or something since he wants to eat every hour- OR he eats every hour because he falls asleep at the boob and is just in a constant state of snacking and not getting the good, fatty hind milk that Baby Wise boasts keeps a baby full.

So I asked my sister about her experience with solely pumping for her twins and she replied "No, don't quit yet." Grrr. I'm not quitting. I'm just trying to find my way.

Timely that Wendy talked about Mother's judging each other this morning (I didn't see it until this afternoon since we were up at 2, 4, 7-830 and then finally for the day at 12) about this article in USA Today. I read something else, I think on Dr. Sears' page, about sleeping through the night too- that article said basically the same thing about the topic. Why is it when we are pregnant/in labor we're all "allowed" to have different symptoms/experiences but if our kid doesn't sleep through the night or if we decide to pump or use formula we've suddenly quit or failed as a mom?

(Lauren, if you read this, I KNOW you didn't mean that comment in this way- I'm being sensitive and feeling frustrated and guilty, as usual.)

Duty calls. My little man just woke.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

I just wanna dance!

Two weeks into ma maternity leave and it's going pretty good. I'm considering myself VERY lucky (as I was with pregnancy.)

Maks is a very sweet baby. He looks a little like me when I was a wee lass and I'm starting to notice little things that resemble Todd as well. Good stuff.

I cannot stress enough how important it was that I worked out as much as I did when I was with child. I know, I know, not everyone has a comfortable pregnancy so this is just one woman's opinion. I went for a (albeit brief) walk/run yesterday. I was at work for a few minutes planning a camp for the end of July and I got around the indoor track five times for a total of a half mile. I would've gone a little longer but Maks was starting to get a little fussy so we capped it off at five. Good start.

The only other thing that I'm a little aggravated about it breast feeding- we're past the sore nipples, Maks is a latching all-start and I'm making plenty of mama juice to keep his little belly full. But since I'm feeling so good I want to get out and stretch my legs a little- or have people over to visit. This means public breast feeding or a hybrid of pumping and nursing. I don't want to lose the time that I spend with Maks nursing- it comforts both of us. He falls asleep at the breast and gets milk drunk from me! He's drunk on Mommy! And he's only going to be this little and dependent on me like this for so long so I want to relish this time...but it's kind of a pain in the ass. (Mother of the Year, 2010.) Also, I don't know how much he gets from the boob so it's hard to know what size bottle to make for him...

He's going to get the mama milk, there's NO doubt about that BUT I suppose I need to figure it out.

Friday, May 21, 2010

Oh, really?

TBone went to work for a few hours yesterday. Maks slept all afternoon. MomMomMadge came to visit but since Little Bug was sleeping we had to sit and talk. Imagine that, TALK to my own mother. Sheesh. I feel for Madge in these situations. I feel like I'm getting a good shake as far as the baby blues go- well, I'm sure it's way too early to say, but so far so good. Without fail, when mom and I get a chance to have a good sit down, the topic of conversation that we usually land on is my father and the relationship he and I have. I bet she LOVES this.
Oh wells.
So anyway, Todd gets home around 5 and aside from the normal new dad congrats he had a decent day...except for one small part: comments his bosses made about our son's name.
When we were going through the naming process we ran into plenty of unsolicited advice. Someone knew somebody with the same name and he or she was a jerk/killed his mom/looked at them crooked in fifth grade/etc. So mostly we kept it to ourselves and lied through our teeth telling people nothing came up. We also did extensive research trying to consider what mean little fourth through twelfth graders might try to come up with to make fun of our wee one based on his name alone. We didn't was to spell things with the initials and tried to avoid things that rhymed with cuss words.
We landed on Maks some time ago and the only thing we came up with was that at some point he might be called Maksi pad. We rested soundly choosing Maks since it means "the greatest" and knowing that the mental wit combined with the command on the English language he'll undoubtedly possess (arrogant, aren't I ;-) will certainly shame any idiot who crosses my kid's path when they try to insult him with a low brow comment about feminine products. "Maksi pad! Wow, took you all day to think of that, eh? Pardon me while I steal your girlfriend (or boyfriend, I'm not judging, it could happen.)"
So anyway, to keep things vanilla, the comment that was made went a little like this, "won't you tire of correcting people on how to spell it?"
Todd's response, "No." *exit stage right.*
He tells me about this later. My response, "oh, you mean ____ the _____ guy and ____ the cat lady? Ask them what they went through when naming their children. Oh, that's right. They don't have any. Let's go slash their tires and put a Joker under their windshield wiper."
(Aside, my sister and I thought it would be funny if that was our signature- putting jokers under people's windshields, on their key boards at work, in their shoes, etc to passive aggressively demonstrate our disdain for them.)
So pregnancy over and I can *sleep soundly* knowing that we've only juuuuust begun with the unsolicited advice.
Thank goodness.

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Thursday, May 20, 2010

They didn't teach me this in Mommy school...

Talk about on the job training. 

Maks has been home for about a week now. His first week birthday was yesterday and it all seems to be going pretty well. Todd's Uncle Todd said it best (and is probably the nicest/tear jerker email I've ever recieved from a family member):
Hey Todd,

Be prepared to be pooped, peed, puked and otherwise sneezed and spit on.  Once you are “baptised” with all these various offerings little Maksim has for you, you will truly be a father—which, by the way—is the coolest thing in the world. So don’t be nervous. Enjoy it. You're gonna loose a lot of sleep for a long while—so will Sarah. Just remember, she’s got a lot more work to do than you (nursing, etc), so go with the flow. (She da boss.) You also have 2 grandmothers in waiting, so go with their advice when questions pop up. Your mom has tons of experience that you to rely on. Your pediatrician will also be a great help. But it all comes down to common sense. You will know what to do and how to do it when things arise. Having a baby is truly the best thing in life that will ever happen to you.

As Maks grows, he will become your little shadow. He’ll want to be with you every second of the day- which will sometimes frustrate you and you’ll say, “gee, if I could only have minutes to myself...” --but you won’t. So go with that, too.

After a while, He’ll develop his own personality and start to do his own thing, and you’re gonna miss the little shadow days. Go with the flow on that too. 

There’s no magic recipe or guide book to being a father except giving yourself unconditionally to the needs of your child. That’s really all there is to it.  Sometimes it takes a parent a long while to figure that out— some never do. But that really is the path you have to walk —give up yourself unconditionally to the needs of your child. If you can do that, you’ll become the happiest father in the world and raise the best son the world will ever know. 

So there you have it—my sagely advice. (that and a buck might  get you a cup of joe at Dunkin’s). The best years of your life have now begun. You have a son—how cool is that!

Good, right? 

So title of the blog point: things they don't teach you in Mommy School. 

1. Have a new born boy? Just recently circumcised? Point the penis DOWN in the diaper. 

Two or three days have come and gone and my little bundle of joy has peed on Todd and I each at least twice a day. I couldn't figure it out. I'm putting the diaper on correctly, it's the right size...there's nothing wrong with Maks's equipment as far as we know...but then I got to thinking. Due to the big C, we're caking on A&D ointment until his wound heals. This could be the culprit for the diaper not being as absorbent...but there's more. On a hunch, I said to Todd, "Hey, since we're getting squirted out of the TOP of his diaper, maybe we should point his penis down."

Todd (without a SECOND of time elapsing): "Yea, that's how  most men do it." 

Me (internal thoughts): Um, Dad, I don't have the equipment...would've been nice if you used your penis expertise (being that your the one in this relationship who HAS that equipment) to enlighten us a little sooner. I only can pee in ONE direction. ONE. Would've saved us ten baby suits and four tee shirts. 

Me (out loud): I'm glad we figured this out *smile sweetly at loving husband*

2. As in My Big Fat Greek Wedding, Windex is a cure all.

And by Windex I mean breast milk. 

Sore nipples? Let breast milk air dry- a few days of this fixes the situation.
Scab on your son's head after the vacuum? Let the breast milk dry on top. Heals it more quickly than Neosporin AND doesn't leave an oily mess.

Son's tear ducts blocked? Again, breast milk. 

This is all for now. I'm CERTAIN there are plenty of things I'm going to come across with Todd and Maks that was NOT taught in baby school. 

Oy vey. 

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Bit and pieces of Labor...

The scene starts at 2:07, the actual line: 3:00

Remember how I was talking about that I was afraid that I wouldn't know when I was going into labor?

After the birth of my son I had a good laugh. I like to compare my life to that of Mona Lisa Vito from My Cousin Vinny. NO! The defense is wroooong!

So, I got to thinking about false labor vs. real labor. Those of you who haven't gotten there's how my internal dialog went like this to pass the time while we waited for Maks to come back to my room:

Sarah Lisa Vito The real labor that made these equal-duration contractions were accompanied by stomach flu-like symptoms. You don't have these symptoms in false labor! 

Todd Gambini: And why not? What do the stomach flu-like symptoms feel like?

Sarah Lisa Vito: It's a electric-like, pulsating sensation which distributes the most intense sensations equally to both the front and rear of the body. Maksim's false labor had a regular, non-painful contractions, which, anyone who's been stuck at 7cms dilated for five hours in May without an epidural knows, you have a false labor contraction, they're very different, they don't hurt. 

[the jury members nod, with murmurs of "yes," "that's right," etc] 

Todd Gambini: Is that it? 

Sarah Lisa Vito:No, there's more! You see? When real labor starts your bowels may evacuate and sometimes your water breaks. False labor has solid contractions, but they're not painful so the belly hardens but no other progression is made. But that doesn't happen in real labor. The belly hardens and the contractions become more painful. These contractions help engage the baby in the pelvis. Now, since there are only two types of labor that have contractions, and enough power to help move the baby out- one is false labor, which could NEVER be confused with the real labor. 

Todd Gambini: And because both labors are made during pregnancy, were both labors available in the third trimester?

Sarah Lisa Vito: They are! 

OK- so it's a little rough. But the "you'll know" when real labor starts...isn't fake. No matter how good your pregnancy was. 

More to come...

Monday, May 17, 2010

Going to the Peds!

We're all belted safely into the car and Dad ran back inside because he forgot something!!! It was your Rockabye Baby Bob Marley CD, Maks. Dad's pretty cute.

So friends, we had a great night sleep last night. During our home visit from our Nurse from the Birthing Center I told her about the events from the night before- my worries about nipple confusion, sore nipples, dead mice, Maks's body temp, etc and she looked at me and smiled and said, "Although the Birthing Center's Theories are this (listed here) remember: you shut your door at night and we're not here. If you're feeding, cleaning, protecting and loving your son, who cares how it all gets done, ok?"

Done and done.

Maks is getting the big C tomorrow. Eek!
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Sunday, May 16, 2010

It could ALWAYS be worse.

After a long, sleepless night of cluster feedings and the sorest nipples I've ever had...I went downstairs feeling a little defeated. I was going to pump. The lactation consultant said to wait until day seven but my son was insatiable overnight and I need a few hours to heal.

I get downstairs to see my three furry friends- I can tell they're a little hurt (or at least confused) that they aren't allowed upstairs. I cried walking down the steps- I'm already feeling mommy guilt, I don't need kitty guilt too. They were lurking by the door so I quickly brushed passed them on a mission to get my pump...and then I came back to the kitchen to was the kit and I saw it: the fresh kill.

Natural instincts are a interesting thing. Natural instincts help my son know when to eat, how to show me he's hungry and how to find and latch onto a breast (even if he tries to eat on TBone.) Natural instincts gave my cats the ability to protect us. And this morning natural instincts provided me with a dose of much needed humor when I saw my three furry boys: a dead mouse in my kitchen.

Friends, all Spring my patience and sense of humor have been put to the test. And this morning I'm reminded that I don't have it that bad (or rather, it could always be worse.) I have my five boys...

...And I'm not a dead mouse.

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Friday, May 14, 2010

Maksimus Prime

Oh man, I can't wait to go on and on and on about my experience but this will have to wait until we get home.

A few nuggets about my nugget:

Although it wasn't the plan, I ended up in the hospital with an epidural and several stitches. BUT the main goals were accomplished: Todd got to announce Maks is a boy and our midwife Jamesina was an awesome advocate for us. I'm pretty sure without her we may have been rushed for a CSection. Finally, me and Maks are healthy and happy.

And I have a son.

Funny reflections: Up until Wednesday, Todd's never seen me on the toilet or really talk about body functions in general. If anyone is out there holding on the notion that they don't want to let their sig. other see them this way, start working through those issues now because 1. fluids flow freely from your body 2. You might end up with a place that you feel most comfy enduring contractions (it was the toilet for me). 3. I have little to no control over the back end of me still and we've had a lot of visitors.

We head home today.

Very excited.

More to come.
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Tuesday, May 11, 2010

I don't like to use "house words" in my blog...

But man, I fucking love my husband.

Email exchange with my 91 year old Grandmom:

Thanks for your Happy Birthday email.  I have had a very good day.  And the Phillies wining tonight was good too. 9  to  5 - Not bad.    
                                                                      All my love,      Grandmom 

Hi Grandmom,
The Phillies have been playing really well.  I tried to stay up and watch last night's game, but I fell asleep when it was still 5-5.  The game got over too late.  It was nice to hear that they scored 4 more runs and won.  Hopefully they will keep winning, so when the baby is born he/she can see them in the World Series.

Update 730pm:

Hi Sarah and Todd,
 This baby is going to love baseball.  And buying a Phillie shirt was very nice of you.  Baby Kurpel is going to look great in the shirt    , I am sure.  And Todd, don't feel bad about falling asleep - I  fell asleep also. right after the fifth , but got awake during the early part of the sixth.  then I was good to the end of the game.  But it was to long.  These men were playing real hard, it was a good game.  And it is great that they won.
All my LOVE,                                                                                   Grandmom

Monday, May 10, 2010

It's not ME, it's YOU.

Being pregnant for over 40 weeks hasn't been so bad- if you've followed all along, you know that I've stayed in good enough shape and I've been very lucky in the health and comfort departments for most of my pregnancy. Sure, I've had a few bumps along the way but overall- pretty smooth sailing. My last few posts have been about the end of pregnancy issues- people trying to be honestly helpful...but in reality, they're just being nuisances. Big, fat, nuisances who don't pause before some really ridiculous, hurtful things fly out of their mouths in my general direction.
I have decided that it's not me, it's them. And I think I'll use the rest of my vacations to stay away from them. Unfortunately my mother knows where I live so I'm not sure I can avoid all things annoying.

Favorite quote to sum it all up comes from Gobbles' Mom: No news is...NO NEWS!

So as each minute of this day, May 10th, passes, I'm a little is Gram's 91st birthday...remember the post about my little friends Jacob and Caitlin being born on Nan's bday? In true Madrak tradition, I really wanted to at least match, if not outdo my sister (and I mean that in the BEST of ways, Lauren ;-) and have FP/GFK be born today. I guess there's still time but... only 9 hours of labor? Probably not in the cards. I'm happy to be a soldier of why can't Karma work for me?

This has been an interesting day to say the least. I would LOVE to take a picture of the best pregnant lady lunch I've had to date: a Snapple, a salad from Giant's salad bar, a mini Hershey's peanut butter cake from the bakery...and an $.89 bag of marsh mallows. I'm eating the marshies like chips right now. Don't judge me...or I'll kick your ass.

So, I think I found a job that I want. No, I'm not really in the market- but if consumer reporter gig hopped into my lap, I'd be all over it like denim  in skinny jeans is all over hipsters' junk.

I want to write articles like this. I want to try out the Shake Weight. I want to buy things like The Fluidity Bar and the slap chop and all of this junk...and write it all off as a business expense.

Finally, great news friends who will have their little ones at their side for my 30th birthday jort party. Huggies Jeans will be here in June and July.

I think it's time to go for a walk...someone let me know if anything good comes up.

Friday, May 7, 2010

Hello Newman...

I share an address with a pizza, I don't live on top of it... it's across the street as a matter of fact- there's NO logical reason that we share an address. It's just the way my town rolls.

Because of this address phenomenon, frequently we get mail for the pizza place and they get mail for us. We take turns visiting each other and handing each other the right mail. I ask my husband every time this happens, "so, you think they even look at who it's addressed to? What differentiates which mail goes to which location? Why do somethings come to us and some go to them?" I would understand if WE got all the mail...or THEY got all the mail- but it's just not the case.

About ten minutes ago I was using the bathroom which has a GRAND view of the pizza place from the window...and I saw our mailman park his car in the lot of the pizza place to deliver mail to the surrounding addresses- so this further complicates the situation for me... I have NO idea why this mail nonsense is happening.  Disgruntled? Evil plot?

I just don't get it. The only thing I can think of...Hello, Newman...

I'm going to be home after Fancy is born for a few I'm about to start a campaign to stop this madness and get to the bottom of this.

So I've had some time on my hands the past few know what's said about idle hands, right?

For the past nine months, I've considered taking pictures of myself if things looked pretty good when I got to this point in our situation. I've been using this blog as a celebration of Fancy- a journal so to speak.

It's provided a space for a living scrap book. Also, with Gram's birthday coming up more feelings of nostalgia arise. When mom and gram share baby stories or whenever I pull out the scrap book that Gram made me after PopPop died...I like looking at pictures and old gas and electric bills...

So friends- I took some pictures yesterday. And I'm going to share two- and I don't know what I'm going to do with the rest- Todd has them- I have them. Maybe I'll make a mug one day and give it to Fancy on his/her 21st birthday to embarrass him/her. I guess I just wanted proof- of what? Who knows. This whole making a baby experience has taught me to appreciate my body. To feel proud of what I'm capable of (I say this BEFORE birth, mind you, check in with me in a few weeks ;-)

So...remember, if you don't have anything nice to say...come sit by me, dear.

Cliche...I know...but softening around the edges does wonders, eh?

There's the belly. Thirty-nine weeks, five days. 

(note- head was included in original version...but...I don't want to ruin my chances for running for president...)

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Breakfast. Bruschetta with a hard boiled egg and iced coffee. The EggGenie is eggsactly what I suspected it would be: AWESOME.

Baby due Saturday- still no baby yet. 

We had our 39th week appointment on Tuesday and Nancy asked if I wanted an internal exam- I asked if there was any reason why she thought I needed one. After feeling the outside of my belly to determine Fancy was still head down with his/her back facing my right side- she said there really was no reason to do an internal because everything still looks healthy and normal.

There was a part of me that kind of wanted, they don't tickle- so I'm not lining up for one any chance I can get but I was interested to know if I was "making progress." Tuesday night Todd and I decided to visit Lauren and Big Todd for dinner and she asked me about it and without thinking I blurted out, "besides, I think I'd be going nuts right now if they did an internal and there was NO PROGRESS."

This statement couldn't be more true- when it comes to estimated delivery dates- ignorance is bliss. Instead of sitting around waiting because I'm ONLY XXXcm dialated and XX% effaced...I didn't really think about it and I cleaned the sealant out of the tub, bottled our first post baby batch of beer (ready May 15th), folded some laundry, watched Sunset Daze (PLEASE WATCH THIS SHOW) and made a Mexican Feast!

Then what- oh yea! I had my first dream two nights ago where I gave birth to an ACTUAL baby. Usually I birth amphibians of some sort. This was a baby girl. I get a real kick out of dreams when they have a twinge of truth to them. Earlier in the day, Todd and I added a line to our birth plan: Todd will announce the sex of the baby to me. In the dream, I gave birth in our dining room (something we've been concerned about all along- I won't know I'm in labor and we have Fancy at home) and I look down and see the little front butt and have to elbow him (because he's so dumbfounded/moved/shocked about the whole experience) to tell us all it's a GIRL!!! And she was all mine.

(Dream last night: all about Pop-pop. Leads me to believe I'm having Fancy on Monday, May 10th, Grandmom's 91st birthday.)

A note about the birth plan. I've been hearing about these things all along and it's been an area of anxiety for me- for the past three or four months they've been asking us at our appointments about our birthing hopes and dreams... and so far what we've come up with: we'd like to just go with the flow...and I don't want anyone there before the birth with the exception of my husband. Since we've chosen a place to have a baby where au natural is the way it's going with no medical interventions unless my health or Fancy's health is compromised, there's really nothing else that we need to add...but then I was reading in the Morgan Method Hypnobirthing book their questions/suggestions about birthing plans...and I read this little gem: that the father announce the gender of the baby. I've been thinking about this moment for at least the past nine and a half months and I can't think of anyone else who I'd rather tell me one of the best surprises I'm EVER going to hear.

I think there's an opinion out there that I don't share my soft/romantic side too often...but I'm just a big softee, friends. And I want my Sweetie to tell me about what flavor our new sidekick is.

This post is getting long.

I'm reading the Rabbi Shumley's The Kosher Sutra- it's a good, quick read. Check it out. The best thing about being finished my master's? BEING ABLE TO READ WHAAATEEEVER I want- even if it is a Jewish Rabbi spouting about the key to happy marriages (btw, it's doin' it and touching each other and stuff.) So anyway, last night Todd came home in a snit- work's kicking his butt a little. I decided it was time to give him a little rub...on his FEET. At first, he jumped all over the place (he's really ticklish!!) But after a few minutes, he commented, "I don't think anyone has ever touched my feet" and settled in- I think it's one of those things that's weird at first, but you don't hate you let it continue and then turn out to like it. This poor man. I can't believe I've let him go this long without a good rub down. This is good though- because now we have some exploring to do. 

Whew! LONG post- coffee's extra strong!


Tuesday, May 4, 2010


After a night filled with tossing and turning in the heat and waking up in a cold sweat with a slight headache (from dehydration from all the sweating I suppose?) I decided to swing by the drugstore to pick up a few things to try and get back on the feeling as good as I can in the situation that I'm in train.

There's something about the drug store- and I think it's the lighting. I've read and heard all sorts of things about it from women (I don't think it works the same for men) of all shapes and sizes swing by the sliiiightly over-priced market for a little pick me up- a tube of lip gloss, a manicure set, a box of hair dye- all sorts of tricks to make us feel better or our best. It's magical, really.

On my list this morning- a nose irrigation system. In my unending quest to try to impress my father (half hearted attempts at best, mind you) I remember bringing up Netti pots to him since he has some issue with sleeping/apnea/nasal passages/life- and it turned into him giving me a lecture about how people often use the pot too late. As most things in life (exercise, therapy, healthy eating, bridge inspection) using the pot should be a preventative measure to sinus infections and the like- in fact, if someone uses the pot when they're already sick from a sinus infection or a cold, although it provides short term relief, it actually makes matters worse. What do germs LOVE? A warm, wet breeding ground.What does a Netti pot provide? A warm wet sinus.

So this morning with my dull headache, I went to the store to pick up a pot- I have one at home but I didn't think  of it while I was there and having a back up at work seems like a decent idea anyway. AS USUAL, I forget about all of the bad things that happen to me when I stray away from my original plans. Again, I think it's the lighting in the store. Instead of getting the pot and the sea salt packets- I walk away with saline spray.

The good news: I no longer have a headache. The bad news, not having the headache is PROBABLY stemming from burning my nasal cavities with the Phenylcabinol and Benzalkonium added to the Saline as preservatives.

The trip didn't go completely in the tullet though. In my second favorite section in the store, the as seen on TV department most of these joints now boast, had a 50% OFF egg steamer. No matter how hard I try, I just can't seem to hard boil a damn egg. Now I can't wait to get things moving- HB eggs for breakfast, egg salad for lunch... awesome. Something tells me I'm going to love maternity leave. And I might be a littttttle sick of eggs at the end of 8 or 12 weeks.

Monday, May 3, 2010

Let's play everyone's favorite game...


Feverishly cleaning and doing laundry (nesting). Check. Uterine suuuuuuuurges increasing in pressure. Check. Hot flashes. Check. Baby. Baby? BABY?  No baby.

I have 9 vacation days to use until June 30- and they don't carry over. So, I'm using three more this week- email to boss went like this- "I know this is a pretty busy week and all but I'm not sure how much help I'm going to be anyway...since I feel like I might have a baby at any second. I'll have my laptop at home since I'm physically incapable of being on "real vacation" so I'll be working anyway. Call me if you need anything."

39 weeks. 2 days. Yup, those are my underpants, tattoo and brassier. I don't care either that I'm showing them to the WHOLE INTERNET. 
I'm tired and 261 days (gestation) pregnant and my own mother called me BIG today. 

I want to go to an acupuncture joint- but can someone please tell me why those places don't have websites? Is it because they're undercover bathhouses? Will I get swindled? Or worse, will they reach for the happy ending and I'll have to waddle out embarrassed?

So, back to gas or labor- I've been paranoid since all of the Toni Braxtons were brought to my attention and now I don't know if I'm going into labor- or if my chair at work is uncomfortable. I was talking with Shannon at lunch on Friday about reading all of the lit around on the Intraweb about what it's supposed to feel like- and the common denominator is...NO ONE FEELS THE SAME THING. Super. Some say period pains- what if a person (like myself) doesn't really experience cramps and the like? Then what? And how about this little gem, "Only 10% of women's water breaks on its own." Really. 10% eh? Out of how many? This one has been my favorite- if you have a high tolerance to pain (check) and you generally view that birth will be a positive experience (check) real labor might go unnoticed. Super. So I won't know. Ok. 

I'm confused about it all, really

And I had the choice of being a mean wife last night- fortunately, nice wife won out. Todd was tired after running the Broad Street- he got up at 5am and beat last year's time by 3 minutes. He was taking a nap on the living room floor while I was watching the Phillies game- this was 8pm...when Rita's was still open. He's been so awesome- hopping up when I say that I want something (I wanted to make bruschetta after watching Julie and Julia yesterday.) I wanted Rita's REAL BAD. It was hot. I didn't want more (that's right, MORE, don't judge me, I don't want to deprive my child) ice cream but I wanted something cold. And sweet. I saw him resting comfortably and decided that a cold glass of water and left over Jelly Bellys would be a good substitute. Guess what- they aren't. In fact- I have NO IDEA why ANYONE would want gourmet (read: weird) flavored jelly beans. Gross. So we (me and the baby) suffered in silence all because I love my husband (and I don't want him to hate me.)