Friday, July 31, 2009

Lauren, Ed, Jackie- you better watch it.

Despite the fact that I was at my grandmother's funeral, yesterday was a really nice day to spend with my family. Obviously bitter sweet- aside from Nan's passing though, Grace mentioned that it's like the end of an era. My parents are the grandparents now- and it's their responsibility to carry on the family ties. It's kind of surreal.

A REALLY funny thing happened at the viewing and I can only hope this happens for me...and Todd, I'll be sure to put it in my will so you and our future children will HAVE to do it. My Nan has one surviving sister, Gloria. Nan was a real pistol, if you didn't see the link on my blog that my aunt Susie wrote about her, check it out if you have time.

So her relationship with Gloria was great- they're both HILARIOUS- and similar to me and my sisters when we get going. So we're all standing around sniffing and tearing up in the funeral home, it's just the sons and daughters and their families- a SMALL viewing before the services on Thursday. Gloria walks in and says, "oh..." and then gets a mad look on her face and says, "You son of a gun, that's my shirt and I've been looking for it for a year!"

Nan stole her shirt...and unbeknownst to my aunt Ann who chose her burial outfit, picked out the shirt that was Gloria's. Nanny got the last word and I love it.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Hail Mary: Gentle Woman

We sang it. And it made me smile thinking of singing our favorite church songs in bars in Atlantic City. And the rolls of quarters they give the old peeps (like Nan) as they get off the bus to play the slots.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Nanny




[Keep and Nanny (hiding her chin- she'd be pissed we're giving away her secret)]

A sweet tribute to Nanny by my aunt Susie on her blog.

No work getting done today. I'm missing class tonight. I told my teacher that I'd be out because a small family viewing- she said I could make an extra post to I make up my participation points. Thanks, I guess.

I suppose there's no real question where making faces in pictures came from...;-)




Monday, July 27, 2009

FREE MACYS!


My in-laws are uber-generous. My father in-law gave me a Macy's gift card for my birthday back on the day before Bastille Day.

I know that spending a ton of money on under garments is well worth it- but I can't help but want to buy the cheap stuff at Target and spend the rest of my money on soda and candy.

Free (to me) Macy's underpants and brassieres are awesome. I probably won't tell my in-laws what I bought though.


Tribute to Nan:

She used to do this in EVERY pic she was in to hide her sagging double chin. I think it's hilarious.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Stiffler's mom.

...a real, live Stiffler's mom: http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/1184257283.html People are amazing.

This would be considered harrassment if it were reversed, right? Whatever, it's hilarious.

I think I'm going to create a similar post on C-list:

Personal assistant internship available: You: go to work for me. I: keep it real at home.

...and that's about it. When I was a teacher to keep the particularly annoying kids in check, I would make them my personal assistant (PA) for the day. Their primary duties consisted of writing down anything funny or important that I said through out that day. I got a real kick out of this- and so did they...AND it kept them quiet. They had off during lunch and their other classes, obviously, but during my class, they followed me around with a clip board and I was generally snotty to them- sort of the way Meryl Streep is to Anne Hathaway in the Devil Wears Prada.





Tuesday, July 21, 2009

It's time to outsource homework...

...so I can focus on what I really want to do: dance. Just kidding.

I don't want to dance but I do want to not do my homework and I'd rather do just about anything else (with the exception of getting cat hair all over my schwetty feet.)

This week's paper topic: Evaluate the knowledge retention strategies that are in place in your organization. What would you do to implement new or change existing strategies to improve effectiveness?

Who wants in?

I made the seven clutches last week for my friends. Well, eight, really, but I found out an important piece of information: I stink at following patterns which I suppose isn't news. SO I junked the first one and made up my own pattern. I originally was nervous that I wouldn't finish them or would end up not going to bed until 3am or something crazy like that...but instead, I was only up until 1:30 with a DRASTICALLY changed pattern. They ended up looking more like this (but with pretty upholstery.)

I should be doing my homework. Instead, I'll talk about beets.

Beets are one of nature's colorful anomalies. Far too few things in nature are purple, or more specifically, fucsia, espcially veggies (at least, the good ones.) Sure, there's the edge of kale and other kinds of lettuce but beets are special- and not the pickled kind either. The plain old, bleed all over your hands, beet. Having ZERO experience with beets and a slew of veggies on hand, I decided to make some fresh cole slaw (which I'll be taking to Lauren's roommate's BBQ Thursday if we make it,) squash and onion kabobs and boiled beets! for dinner last night.

(I feel the need for a paragraph break here.)

I boiled the beets for 20 minuets, cooled them, halfed them (with my Alaskan Ulu!!), and then made them into little beet boats, not beet boxes, though :-/. I used them to give the cole slaw a ride in around my dinner plate- so I guess they ended up being more of a garnish. Poor beets. They can never catch a break.

Unfortunatly, the most intersting thing about the beet is the color b/c at 44 calories for two (boiled and drained) and with little nutritional value otherwise, they don't have much else to offer.

Ug. Paper time. Just kidding, it's Hammertime.


Thursday, July 16, 2009

I have nothing to report.

It's Thursday already? This week has been spent catching up from and righting wrongs (treating myself just about all of) from last week. Oh yea. And it was my birthday. And I got back from Alaska. And I'm wearing the dress I wore to my graduation today.

Tonight I'm going to dinner at dad's and A-buh is picking up Todd at the train station at 6:17pm. Then dinner at Dad's (where I will have nothing to report) and then the fabric store.

I'm planning on buying enough fabric to make seven envelope clutches. Please note- my execution of projects is usually off because I'm like Jojo the idiot circus clown when I get excited. So I'll either: 1. get through 3 and call it a night at a decent hour so I can do reading for class. 2. finish them at 2am b/c I'm no quitter 3. it'll all go off without a hitch.

Smooches.


Thursday, July 9, 2009

the otter one

Todd wants to buy a house in Victoria, BC so his biggest problem in life is worrying about otters stealing his garbage cans and throwing them into the river.

I think there's a law in Victoria that garbage cans have to be kept in a cement holders.

I'm skeptical of how friendly everyone is...

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

MLM- I think I found my calling.

I had a few vacay days to burn before the end of the fiscal year. I decided that "I've worked hard" so I deserved "treats" so I tried my best to act like a Main Line Mom (MLM) before Todd and I hop off to our real vacation later on this week.

I jolted out of bed Monday morning and decided that rather than do my normal yoga routine from the Veria cable channel, that I'd go to a few classes this week. My sister has been talking about trying to get to a Bikram class for some time so I gave her a call. She told me about this joint in Berwyn, Bikram Yoga Main Line and that they offer a week of unlimited classes for new members for $20. Sold.

I practice Vinyasa yoga just about every day- or at least five days a week so I was comfortable with many of the postures but I'll tell ya- it certainly was something else. It's not that the yoga postures are that difficult- some more than others...but it's really hot as shit (pardon my french but there's no other way to describe it) in those rooms. Something like 105 degrees. And I don't get a lady-like glow about me either when I get all hot and bothered- I look (and smell) like a hog in labor- bright red/purple and DRIPPING with sweat. The teacher came over to help me a few times to get deeper into a posture and she nearly slipped off me b/c I was so slimy. It was like my own personal slip and slide on my yoga mat. Yum.

Other MLM activities this week included picking fresh veggies from the farm share that Grace and I split, shopping, having ice cream, doing laundry during the day and not having to wait until midnight until it's finished, going to the fabric store and then sew a new dress and just basically keeping it real. I didn't do any cocktailing but that's only b/c I didn't want to pass out in the Yoga room this week due to dehydration and also, Todd and I are about to go away...so I'm sure we'll get it in.

I'm looking for suggestions for how we (me and whoever else wants to be a part of my Real Housewives of Delaware County entourage) please make suggestions for how we can make a ton of money and therefore stay the heck home and be ladies of leisure.